You deliver the punishment (game)

[Rath Darkblade]

... drink nothing but water until Prohibition is over.

(Then again, considering the dirty state of the water in the 1920s ... yikes.)

Laura Bow, for being so gullible that both your bags get snatched before you even get to the newspaper building in LB2 ...

*takes a deep breath*

... I hereby sentence you to ...

[Tawmis]

... to work at the airport baggage claim, so you appreciate luggage.

Roger Wilco, for blowing up a space station (well, I guess it wasn't your fault, but you were the last living person off of it) in Space Quest 1, I hereby sentence you to...

[Rath Darkblade]

... clean up the space debris afterwards. With nothing but your broom.

(Besides, how do we know he was the last living person off the ship? Someone could've been stuck in the john).

The crazy lottery lady in LSL2, for pulling a Rambo if Larry tries to shoplift, how hereby sentence you to ...

[notbobsmith]

...a date with Larry. (ewwww)

Laura Bow, for eavesdropping on conversations, I hereby sentence you to....

[Rath Darkblade]

... go deaf. (What, too harsh?)

Barbara Bimbo, for sending your murderous and clingy mother on a cruise with Larry (instead of biting the bullet and coming yourself), I hereby sentence you to ...

[Tawmis]

Barbara Bimbo, for sending your murderous and clingy mother on a cruise with Larry (instead of biting the bullet and coming yourself), I hereby sentence you to ...

... to read Mother Goose stories to those two kids from King's Quest VII who kept trying to blow up the cat.

Larry, for sleeping with your Divorce Lawyer in LSLIII, I hereby sentence you to...

[Rath Darkblade]

I completely forgot about that.

... to, er ... lose her representation of you in court, since she is now in conflict of interest! And therefore, to have to represent yourself in court! (And as Lincoln said all those years ago: "A man who represents himself has a fool for a client"! I always loved Lincoln's quotes and anecdotes).

Anyway, sorry. Um ... Ken, for using Larry as a bowling ball in LSL3, I hereby sentence you to...

[notbobsmith]

...being a manual pin setter at a bowling alley.

Bonecrusher Gajarian (PQ1), for software piracy, I hereby sentence you to...

[Rath Darkblade]

... write software and have it pirated by Victor Simms of Jefferson High School.

Donald Colby (PQ1), for selling drugs to Victor Simms (whom you knew would sell it on to Jefferson High School), I hereby sentence you to...

[notbobsmith]

...community service in a rehab center.

The Big Bad Wolf (KQ2), for identity theft (impersonating grandma), I hereby sentence you to...

[Rath Darkblade]

... impersonate one of the Three Little Pigs.

Brauggi the blue giant, for greedily wanting 50 apples for your gem, I hereby sentence you to...

[Tawmis]

... impersonate one of the Three Little Pigs.

Brauggi the blue giant, for greedily wanting 50 apples for your gem, I hereby sentence you to...

To hang in the Valley of the Green Giant. Orange you glad that's the worse of it?

King Grahamn, for the murder of Dracula, I hereby sentence you to...

[Rath Darkblade]

... spruik Tiny Tim's Chestnuts for the rest of eternity. "Tiny Tim's roast hot -- like a chestnut ought!"

"And -- they are mild, mild, mild, mild..." (...and this to tell you a little about the song, and why almost EVERYBODY went completely crazy over it. George Carlin, then a DJ, nearly got fired when he played it).

Dracula, for threatening King Graham, I hereby sentence you to ...

[Tawmis]

Dracula, for threatening King Graham, I hereby sentence you to ...

... to play Gabriel Knight 3: Blood of the Sacred, Blood of the Damned .... without a hintbook!

Leisure Suit Larry, for not returning the Remote Control to the Pimp, I hereby sentence you to...

[Rath Darkblade]

... become the subject of a game where another person controls YOU -- and without a remote control! Mwa ha ha!

The Pimp, for not watching "John and Marsha" ( ), I hereby sentence you to ...